you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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