idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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