can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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