but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
