i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
