My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
