we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
