Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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