I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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