i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
