you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
they're like a gay fantastic four
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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