I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need water and some morals
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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