Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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