Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
