I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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