I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
