on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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