"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
