I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
