is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
