if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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