she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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