Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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