i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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