I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
