shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
