Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
