Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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