I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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