I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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