let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
