now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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