I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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