He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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