Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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