Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
