In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
