I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
