She announced her abortion via fbk
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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