im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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