i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
