quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
