I think my vagina is haunted
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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