10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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