Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
