i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
