the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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