My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
