I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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