Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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